Episode 131
'Episode 131 '''is an episode of Drunken Peasants. Videos Played # E-CIG VAPING WARNING -NEW LAWS # Gay Marriage/Confederate Flags # RWW News: Jones: Gay Rights Endgame An Asexual Humanoid # Does Science Argue for or against God? # Get Your House In Order NOW! -- The Supreme Court # Wait...Why Did They Call Me A Racist? # Dear Woman # A Godless Christian Country that supports Gay Marriage will soon add Pedophilia # Shane's Closet Bursts Open, Retards Flock In # Gravitational pull disturbed by Sarah Avery's Vagina (flagged) Start of the Show The newest thing was a brand new intro for the show with all the ads and pre-show messages being condensed instead of some clunky ass collection of clips. This show they were joined by the masked Mystery Guest, who is totally in no way TJ. They also brought Jean-François Gariépy on. They then went on to do a troll or not a troll segment on an anti-vaping duo of Jane from Breaking Bad and The Vigilant Christian's ugly cousin. The Mystery Guest and the Peasants agreed that they were trolls and went onto a JezuzFreek777 video about the Confederate flag. He showed the truth that those who do not defend the flag are not real Christians, obviously, and neither are those who do not oppose the Homosexual Menace. The Mystery Guest, after the ever ingenious and deductive Scotty guessed his initials to be TJ, revealed himself to be Terrance Jenkins representing the Church of Gail. The Mystery Guest then revealed his identity to be TJ Kirk III to the shock of everyone. His real identity blew up the Internet with Drunken Peasants trending nationally. Next was Alex Jones explaining how transgenderism/homosexuality will end humanity and lead to the sexualization of children and the conversion of the human species to a generic asexual humanoid. The Peasants then went on to discuss a Prager University video about why God must exist because astronomy is big, yo. The man presenting also appears to be the lovechild of Anderson Cooper and Philip Seymour Hoffman. They went as far as cherry picking the research of Carl Sagan about the sustainability of life on planets. Their ingenious conclusion was that because of the high level of criterions for planets to sustain life, there must not be life on other planets. No logical dissonance here. The Peasants went onto a Coffee Chat with the Patriot Nurse stating that civil disobedience will occur to stop da gayz. She spoke the truth that the federal government is overreaching their authority by letting people be happy with who they love. Those evil fucks. The Supreme Court is of course practically raining down oppressive edicts at this point. Middle of The Show They then accidentally moved onto the Racist Roo who explains how he was in Germany probably because he's a Nazi.The racist kangaroo played the victim card after tapping his mana saying that he was just pointing out the truth about crime statistics. The Peasants correctly compared him to Napoleon Dynamite except without any of the redeeming kindness. TJ Kirk III then went onto challenge the Kangaroo to a fight, which is a terrible idea due to kangaroos well-known talent for boxing. TJ then angrily demanded the Kangaroo to discuss this on the show and stop being a pussy. The racist kangaroo again misuses the word "infinitely" and claims the Drunken Peasants are interpreting the word infinitely "hyperliterally". Roo then goes on to give "advice to black people" by brilliantly suggesting that they do what they're told. He also suggested black people stop listening to music with lyrics that police might find objectionable. (Smoke weed everyday.) This and other set of rules he sets for ONLY black people, because all other races get passes. The retarded Roo then plays Chris Rock saying the same thing, because it becomes okay if a black guy says it. Classic Fox News tactic. The Peasants skip it to avoid a copyright strike. To increase the atmosphere of bigoted retardation in the room, and because they were sick of the racist marsupial, they played some feministic propaganda claiming there's some sort of subconscious male hive mind that is responsible for all female suffering. It centered around two men who as they grow more spiritually aware have started to worship femininity. They reveal that women are transdimensional and TJ teaches us that women are Timelords from the planet Gallifrey who ride in TARDISes. They then played Whoopi Goldberg lookalike who says that gay marriage is horrible and attempts to prove a link between homos and pedos. They then moved onto a British teenager of indecipherable gender and fabulous hair deriding TJ for the garbage video he did in response to Shane Dawson coming out as bisexual. It turns out, as expected, this fellow was an official member of "I'm offended" squad. End of The Show Gail Chord Schuler, our Queen and prophet, then called upon the scientists of the world because of a gravitational anomaly "that be throwing off" the She then goes onto demand somebody do something about Sarah Avery who keeps eating everything from billboards to weiner mobiles. She calls upon the Jesuits to help them into figuring out a solution. She puts forward a hypothesis that Sarah's vagina might collapse into a black hole. Gail claims that Sarah was made by Satan and is currently 2000 pounds and is chained underground where she is fed a mixture of chocolate cake and cottage cheese. She also suffocates people in her fatty folds much like TJ does to his enemies. Next was some worthless queries from no-life bastards who do nothing but watch DP episodes over and over again. Quotes * ''"French is disguisting. Anyone that speaks French should be dragged out to the street and beaten with a stick." - TJ * "What turns you on, Stevie? What gets you going?" - Scotty * "I was sent here by Galen." - TJ * "Like any new product I've been trying it..." - Jean-François Gariépy * "If you were a woman, would you want an abortion?" - Scotty * "Obviously there is a lot of willful ignorance when it comes to Christianity - there's still fucking Christians!" ''- TJ * ''"She be so fat now." - Gail pretending to be black * "It may theoretically possible for Sarah's vagina to collapse into a black hole." - Gail * "Sarah Avery is Satan's creation." - Gail * ''"Scotty and Unfunny just go together for some reason." ''- TJ Trivia * Scotty has triumphantly reasserted his glorious anti-Canadianism. * Scotty desperately desires an invasion of Canada by the United States. Jean-François Gariépy is not against it. * Stevie will become Phil Robertson in 20 years. * TJ is mentored by Galen Hallycon. * Jean-François Gariépy is a paid shill sent by Monsanto to poison humanity. * Mystery Man is secretly Terrance Jenkins and was on the show to represent the Church of Gail. * The Mystery Guest was raped by Jar Jar Binks with his meathammer cock. * Scotty is a hardcore vegan, and TJ is a non-entity. * The subtitle for Eggs 2 is "Shell Shocked". Category:Drunken Peasants Episodes